<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>a heart of stone by liesmith</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28586922">a heart of stone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesmith/pseuds/liesmith'>liesmith</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NoPixel, no pixel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, emo boys, uhh, you know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:07:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,811</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28586922</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesmith/pseuds/liesmith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>things feel familiar</p><p>or</p><p>things could be different now, right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Al Saab/Curtis Swoleroid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a heart of stone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it’s been a long day.</p><p>it’s not like they’ve done much, but curtis is mentally exhausted, feeling boneless as he sinks into the passenger side of nino’s jeep, head against his shoulder as he looks out the window. nino’s chattering about something or other in the driver’s side and saab’s happily keeping up with the banter, sat in the middle of the back seat, leaning between the two front seats to make sure he’s part of everything.</p><p>
  <em>he’s not like buddha</em>
</p><p>curtis closes his eyes behind his sunglasses, mind turning the words over again and again. saab’s right, and curtis knows he’s right, but still. even though nino <em>himself</em> said that he trusts curtis, that curtis is his, it’s not enough to keep his anxiety at bay.</p><p>“-curtis, hey, curtis, you want to go to a titty bar?”</p><p>curtis blinks slowly and looks over at nino, brows furrowed. a titty bar? the vu? curtis just feels exhaustion drag him down. “... no, i… nino, can we go home?”</p><p>as soon as he says it, curtis panics. he’s never referred to nino’s place as <em>home</em>. cassle says it, jj says it, nino says it, but. that’s not curtis’ home, that’s just where he goes when he wants some, right? but nino just rolls to a stop at a red light, scratching at his jaw, ruffling his scruff.</p><p>“yeah, alright, we can go home.”</p><p>saab hums besides him, looking between the two. “can i come too?”</p><p>nino pauses and looks at curtis. “... his call, pipsqueak.”</p><p>saab scowls a little at the nickname, cheeks hot as he mumbles something about turbo or other, and just looks at curtis, who hesitates. it’s… been awhile, since he’s been alone with saab like that. somewhere he can unwind, be vulnerable. last time he was vulnerable, saab shot him. curtis can’t forget that.</p><p>he looks at the blond and just reaches up, ruffling his hair. “yeah, saab can come.”</p><p>saab preens a little, smiling at curtis, who just feels… soft. curtis at least thinks the word is soft as he settles in his seat, hearing nino start the conversation again, saab excitedly chirping up when he can get a word in. curtis just closes his eyes, letting himself drift to the sound of their voices. he can’t help it; even if he feels like a little kid, falling asleep on a long car ride, he’s too tired to fight his body right now.</p><p>he does, however, feel a little embarrassed when he comes back too, that it’s dark out. there’s soft, fat snowflakes falling from the sky. the lights from nino’s mansion catch just right on a few and curtis blinks as he watches them glitter, rubbing an eye and slowly climbing out of the jeep, closing the door with al the quiet care in the world as he feels almost like an intruder, stepping into nino’s place and looking around. his loafers come off at the door and curtis leaves his jacket hung up, shivering as he’s exposed a little now. the place is warm, but curtis feels cold, walking quietly through the hallway, past the stairs. he just has to find someone and not think for a bit, that’s all. let nino kiss on him or get high or something. curtis pauses in the hall, a hand on the wall as he looks around before he hears it; the faint sounds of voices.</p><p>curtis follows them to the kitchen, peeking into the large archway. cassle is sitting on the countertop, a beer in his hands as he rags on nino, who is trying to retrieve something from the oven that’s pouring smoke, the item clearly burnt. saab is sitting at the bar, twisting his body on the stool as he laughs at them, cheeks a little hot, and curtis can count a few empty bottles next to him. always a light weight.</p><p>he feels a little like a weirdo, spying in like this, but… it makes him feel not as empty. not as alone. curtis is quiet as he steps into the kitchen, listening to nino and cassle argue with each other as he stands behind saab, a hand settling in the small of his back. saab tenses briefly, turning his head to see curtis and melting, shoulders rolling and relaxing at his side.</p><p>“curtis,” saab sounds like he’s speaking softly, or maybe nino and cassle are that loud, “sorry, i… told nino to let you sleep.”</p><p>“it’s fine,” curtis dips his head, kissing the top of saab’s, “i… needed it. thank you, ducky.”</p><p>the silence is sudden. saab just stares and curtis feels like he’s been sucked into something, a vacuum that he can’t pull out of, heart pounding in his ears. saab opens his mouth a few times before he just turns in the stool completely, facing curtis as he reaches, fingers curling around curtis’ wrists.</p><p>“... you haven’t called me that in a long time.”</p><p>curtis knows. he knows it’s been probably close to a year since he’s called saab that. “... yeah, i…”</p><p>“you don’t have to say anything” it still surprised curtis how smart saab can be, when he stops playing dumbass, “... i missed you, curtis.”</p><p>saab’s fingers dip into curtis’ palms, thumb rubbing against the center of them. after a moment, saab lifts one of his hands, kissing curtis’ fingers, then his knuckles, then the back of his palm.</p><p>“we interruptin’ something, boys?” nino’s voice is barely lower then his usual loud tone, an arm around cassle’s waist as he sips his own bottle of beer, “seem kinda cozy. johnny burnt the fuckin’ pizza, the piece of shit, so we have to order in.”</p><p>“didn’t burn shit,” cassle argues softly, nosing against nino’s jaw, who just hums and reaches up, scratching behind cassle’s ear.</p><p>“or you boys gonna eat somethin’ else?”</p><p>something else. curtis flushes at that, looking at saab, who looks at him, then back at nino.</p><p>“u-uh, no, nino, i’m… actually hungry,” saab speaks up and nino bursts into laughter as saab flushes, turning his eyes back to curtis who just gives him a small smile, head shaking.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“fuck, i’m stuffed,” saab melts into the cushions beneath him, hands patting his tummy, “that was good pizza.”</p><p>curtis leans against him, arms stretched out along the back of the couch. “you really can put it back, huh?”</p><p>“pizza’s good,” saab pouts softly, snuggling against curtis’ side, “i wonder what nino and johnny are doing. they bounced when the pizza came. more for me, honestly, i’ll eat expensive pizza with nino’s money...”</p><p>curtis could name about ten things they would be doing, but he was sure he’d still be wrong. “yeah, uh… i just don’t think they’re interested in eating food. maybe each other, though.”</p><p>saab giggles softly, laying his head on curtis’ chest, eyes lidding. he’s… still so soft, after all this time. curtis reaches up, playing with the soft blond of his hair, running his fingers through it. he can see some of saab’s roots coming in, and if he squints, he swears he sees a grey. won’t tell saab that, though.</p><p>“... i know… we already talked it out, but you know, i’m really sorry, curtis,” saab’s voice is soft as he starts and curtis just swallows around a sudden lump in his throat, “i should’ve listened to you. i always had your back, and… i don’t know what happened. i’m just really sorry. i… curtis, i love you, you know that, right? even… you always knew that, right, i…”</p><p>he’s babbling and curtis can’t stand to hear it anymore, chest tight, so he just kisses saab to shut him up. the blond hesitates but he returns it, a hand reaching up to cup the base of curtis’ skull, fingers rubbing along his fade before they pull back, and saab just looks at him, eyes lid and dopey.</p><p>it’s hard to look at him like that. they’ve always had that magnetic pull to one another, even from the beginning, and curtis missed him so much. he just kisses saab’s forehead, wrapping his arms around the blond and holding him close. saab just snuggles in close, moving to slot himself into curtis’ lap, bumping his head lightly against his jaw. curtis just snorts but lets the affection sink into his bones, a hand idly reaching up to scratch through saab’s hair again. saab is purring out, soft and sleepy, and curtis just settles in for the long haul.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>curtis wakes to hands in his own hair, pushing back the strands that have fallen out of place. he blinks slowly in the dark, saab outlined barely by the hall light.</p><p>“you’re up,” saab speaks softly, hands pausing in curtis’ hair, “... you wanna go upstairs?”</p><p>curtis yawns softly, rubbing an eye. “mm, sure. i think we can find a bed in this huge fucking place.”</p><p>saab laughs as he climbs out of curtis’ lap, holding out a hand to the brunet, who takes it as he gets to his feet. they walk close as they climb the stairs to the second floor. curtis knows faintly which rooms to avoid; he steers saab down a hall and nudges him inside, peeking around. the room seems… relatively safe, by nino’s standards, and curtis just quietly closes the door behind them. thank god for endless money and fully furnished homes; saab pulls away as he starts to undress, shimmying out of his joggers as he climbed onto the bed, stretching out and pausing to look at curtis, patting the mattress besides him. curtis snorts softly, happily undressing himself until he’s left in just his underwear, climbing onto the bed besides saab.</p><p>the blond clings to him immediately and curtis just laughs, wrapping his arms around saab and nuzzling against him, legs kicking a little at the blanket to loosen it from the bedding. saab helps a little, finding purchase in the blanket and pull it up and over them, sinking into curtis’ warmth, arms tucking under the brunet’s.</p><p>curtis can count on one hand the number of times he’s laid next to someone in bed and they haven’t just finished fucking. it’s something he’s trying to get used too and when saab tries to kiss him and misses completely, hitting the side of his jaw, curtis just laughs and squeezes the blond, rolling them so he can tangle limbs, wrapped around saab tightly.</p><p>maybe it wasn’t so bad, being soft and kissing men who tried to kill you a few months ago. curtis has done dumber things, he’s sure of it, and when morning comes and saab sits up, hands on his chest and hair sleep tousled, curtis just feels his heart swell, a hand reaching up to grab the front of saab’s shirt and drag him down for a kiss, tingling with the feelings that today was just the start of the rest of his life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i am obviously a newer viewer so anything abt their past just kind of gloss over. im just making stuff up to be emo that's all it ain't deep i promise</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>